Absent
by Kaisa
Summary: Chloe tries to help Clark get over Alicia's death. Bad summary. slight Chlark Complete


hi... me here. Okay, so i finally did it. I finally posted one of my Smallville fan fictions. I know this one isnt very good, and not very long, and it probably isnt the best writing i've ever done... so please be gentle with it?

Please?

(Oh, and i DO NOT own ANYTHING. so SUE me! Uhhh... i mean, dont sue me... it was just a figure of speech!)

Okay. Let's get on with it. (PS - the starting is Clark POV)

PSS - I think i'm aware that some of the parts are...whats the word for it...cheesy...

* * *

I went to her house, to find her, to ask her why. Why did she call me? Telling me she was in trouble, but when I got there, she wasn't there… 

I finally found her. Dead. There she was, just hanging there… I got her down and held her in my arms, not believing she was gone.

Next thing I knew, Lois was there, telling me that she knew who did this. I didn't say anything at first, for I was stunned. Why couldn't Lois find out sooner? Before he killed her? But I didn't blame Lois for what had happened.

I blamed _him_. Tim.

I ran to find him, would've killed him, if Lois hadn't stopped me. I'm not a killer, but he murdered an innocent person.

And I helped him.

If I had believed her, if I had trusted her, I would have been there to protect her. She would have still been _alive._

When I got home, my parents came up to me, and, seeing my face, asked me what was wrong. I completely ignored them and headed to my loft. Except they wouldn't stop.

I finally turned around to face them. "Alicia's dead," I said coldly, and then kept going. My parents didn't follow this time.

I went up to my loft. I stayed up there for two days straight. Didn't go to school, didn't eat my meals, didn't speak to anyone.

Lois did come up to say goodbye, but that was about it.

But then my parents came up. I didn't feel like talking about it, but I did, a little. They just told me that what had happened to Alicia wasn't my fault. But they didn't understand.

Once my dad said that, I was thinking, _Sure you think that. I bet you're real sorry. I bet you're happy she's gone, I mean, you never wanted us to be together anyway, right? Not like you cared if I was happy when I was with her or anything._

I was this close to telling them that, but I didn't.

After that, I went to Alicia's grave, stayed there for awhile. Chloe came, and told me if I never needed to talk she was there. It was then when she started acting weird around me. I didn't get it. Why was she acting weird around me, and right after Alicia's death too? Did she think I was going to let her die too?

* * *

_A few days later_

"Clark, you're going to be late for school!" Martha Kent said. She stood outside her son's door, waiting for him to come out.

"I'm not going," Clark replied, his voice muffled.

"Clark Kent, you are going to school, whether you like it or not," Martha stated, opening up the bedroom door. Once inside, she saw Clark, still in his bed.

Clark pulled his covers over his head. "Mom…I don't want to go…"

"You don't have a choice, honey. Hurry up and get dressed." And she left.

Clark sat up and finally threw on a clean pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. Although he didn't want to go to school, he decided that maybe school would get his mind off of the fact that Alicia was gone…and that it was his fault.

He went downstairs, ignored the breakfast his mother offered him, said goodbye, and super sped out the door and to the school.

* * *

Clark tried not to take any notice to some of the kids who were staring at him when he came into the school.

He opened his locker and got out his book, and he just happened to glance at a picture of himself and Alicia. He stared at her smiling face for a second, the pain of loss coming back in a wave.

When he couldn't stand it any longer, Clark slammed his locker door shut, bringing a few more glances in his direction. That's when he noticed Lana standing beside him.

"I heard what happened to Alicia…I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. She hesitated, and then turned and walked away.

Clark ignored the sympathy and thought, _Yeah, you should be sorry, since you treated Alicia like crap when she asked for another chance. You and your stupid boyfriend…_

* * *

Chloe turned when she heard the slamming of a locker door, and was a little surprised to see Clark. She walked up behind Clark after she saw Lana leave.

"Clark."

He turned to her, his eyes boring into hers. "Hi, Chloe." And he began to walk away.

Chloe hurried to catch up with him. "Um…haven't seen you here lately…"

"Believe me, Chloe, I didn't want to come here today… And now I'm really sure I made a mistake coming here today, with everyone staring at me, like _I_ was the one who murdered her."

_That's the most he's said to me in three days,_ Chloe thought. "Well, we all know it wasn't your fault," she replied.

Clark raised an eyebrow slightly.

Both of them were silent for a second, to Clark's relief. He didn't feel like talking.

He stopped abruptly when he saw two girls blocking his way.

"Oh, Clark, we're _so_ sorry!" one of them exclaimed.

"Yeah," the other said sarcastically. "We're so sorry you were in love with a murderer."

Clark froze.

"Well…I'm sure she got what she deserved," the first one said, pretending to be thoughtful. "I guess a murderer deserves to be murdered… And it's not like anyone was there to _protect_ her…"

Clark then turned and began to walk away. _Just ignore them,_ he told himself firmly. _Just walk away…_

"Jerks," Chloe said to the two smirking girls, before scurrying to find Clark.

She found him a few minutes later, walking out of the school. She followed him.

"Clark, wait!" she called, coming up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Clark, those girls, they were just being—"

Clark shook off her hand and kept walking. "Go back to school, Chloe," he said over his shoulder, and once Chloe was out of sight, Clark super sped away.

* * *

Clark super sped into his house, stopping in the kitchen. _Going to school was a brilliant idea, Kent,_ he thought sarcastically to himself.

He picked up a piece of bread and toasted it with his heat vision. He had taken two bites before he saw his parents come in.

"Clark, aren't you supposed to be in school?" his father asked.

"Yeah," Clark answered.

"Then why aren't you there?"

"Because, Dad, I can't…I can't…," his voice trailed off.

"Look, Clark, I understand this is painful for you, but you need to go to school," Jonathan said.

"No, Dad, you _don't_ understand," Clark said forcefully. "All the people there, they were staring at me… And then those two girls… After that, I just left." Clark paused, thinking that his parents might say something. But when they didn't, he continued. "I thought I could come here… I thought you and Mom would understand that I'm just _not_ ready to go back to school just yet." Clark shrugged. "I guess I was wrong." And before his parents could stop him, he super sped out the door.

* * *

Clark went to the caves. He dropped his backpack on the ground before sitting on the floor of the cave. He had thought about going to the cemetery, but had finally decided against it. _I hate graveyards anyway,_ he thought bitterly.

He let out a big yawn. He hadn't gotten much sleep the last night, and right then, he found himself drifting to sleep.

* * *

Chloe rushed into the cave once she saw Clark on the floor. Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent, and herself had been looking everywhere for Clark over the past few hours.

Chloe bent down beside Clark. At first she thought that he was unconscious, but then realized that he was asleep.

She hesitated as she made the move to shake him awake when she saw his face. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, so untroubled, without a care in the world. And she didn't want that to end.

But Mr. and Mrs. Kent were going crazy with worry, so Chloe gently shook the sleeping Clark.

"Clark…wake up…"

Clark shifted in his sleep. "Mom…I told you…I don't want to go to school…just leave me alone…please…"

"It's Chloe, Clark. Wake up."

Clark sat up and looked around, instantly remembering. He ran his hand through his dark hair and looked at Chloe.

"Clark, you're parents have been worried sick, you've got to come home now," Chloe said.

"What time is it?" Clark asked.

"Seven."

Clark stood up. "Ah… Yeah, I better get home…" He started out of the cave.

Chloe stopped him. "Why were you in here?"

"I just wanted to be alone, and I didn't feel like hanging out around home," Clark answered.

"You know, Clark…those girls at school today…they were just being jerks about it," Chloe said.

"Remember, you can talk to me about anything…_anything._" She added the last part with the memory of seeing Clark catching that car and speeding off that one night. He still didn't know she had seen that.

"Yeah, I know, Chloe," Clark replied. "And don't worry, I'm not planning to go back to school for a while…"

"Don't think your parents will give you a choice," Chloe pointed out.

Clark nodded vaguely. "You're probably right…"

"Well, we better get you back now, before your parents freak and file a missing persons report," Chloe said.

* * *

"Clark! Where were you?" Martha asked after Chloe had dropped Clark off.

"I went to the caves. I guess I lost track of time. And I kinda fell asleep."

Martha shook her head.

"I know what you're going to say, Mom. You're going to say that if I had stayed at school today, this would have never happened and you and Dad wouldn't have been worried," Clark said.

"I wasn't going to say that, but your father and I _do_ want you to go to school tomorrow. No excuses."

"Fine, Mom. Fine. It just seems a little fast, since she was killed a few days ago… It's kind of like you and Dad don't care about that."

"Of course we care, honey. We're very sorry for your loss, but you've got to move on," Martha replied.

"But what if it's too soon to move on? It feels like you just want me forget about her, it's like you want me to forget about how happy I was when I was with her…"

"Clark, I truly want you to be happy, but it's not good to dwell on the past."

"I'm not." And Clark went upstairs.

* * *

The next day, Chloe found Clark in the Torch office, sitting in one of the chairs.

He looked up. "Hi, Chloe, how're you today?"

"I'm okay. How are you feeling?"

Clark shrugged. "I guess I'm doing a little better. But it would help if everyone stopped staring at me. It makes me feel uncomfortable." He paused. "Uh…on a completely unrelated note, I noticed that you took me off the Wall of Weird." He raised an eyebrow. "What, am I not qualified anymore?"

Chloe smiled. "Yeah, I took you off a few days ago when I found out…" She struggled for the right words. "You know what I mean, it's just that… I just didn't think… Ah…"

Clark looked at her with a slightly confused expression.

Chloe sighed. "I just took you off because it was the right thing to do," she finally said, without thinking.

That made Clark even more confused. "Um… Chloe, you've been acting kind of strange around me lately…ever since she got killed… Why?"

Chloe forced a small laugh. "What are you talking about? I'm not acting strange around you."

"If it has anything to do with the fact that I let Alicia down—"

"You didn't let her down," Chloe protested.

"I let her die… If I had believed her, I would have been there, and she wouldn't have died." He was silent for a minute. "And now you're afraid that I'm going to let you die too."

Chloe was stunned. "That is defiantly _not_ true!"

"But there is something, isn't there?"

Chloe was silent.

Clark nodded to himself. "What happened?"

Chloe almost melted under Clark's stare. _Should I tell him?_ _I thought I wasn't going to do that. I thought that I was supposed to be supportive and maybe he would tell me himself one day… But I should tell him, shouldn't I? He has every right to know, right?_

"Well…before Alicia got…killed…she came here."

Clark watched her as she paced about the office and waited for her to continue, although he had a very bad feeling about it. "What'd she say…?"

Chloe stopped and looked at him. "Nothing. She teleported me and herself into her car."

Clark swallowed hard, a sick feeling developing in his stomach.

"And…then she called you…told you she was in trouble…and then teleported me out to a place where we could still see the car speeding…"

Clark then avoided her gaze and shifted uncomfortably. He had a _very_ bad feeling about this.

"And then I saw you. You caught that car…and then sped away…," Chloe finished.

"Did Alicia tell you…anything else?" Clark said, trying to be calm.

"What do you mean, 'anything else'? There isn't any more, is there?"

_Chloe knows. She knows. I can't believe this…_ _At least she doesn't know everything… That's the bright side, yeah…, _Clark thought.

"Clark, why didn't you tell me that you were infected by the meteor rocks? I would have understood," Chloe said.

"It's a lot worse than that, Chloe. A whole lot worse…"

Chloe looked at him quizzically. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it right now, I've already screwed up too much stuff this week, and I don't want to screw up this friendship too," Clark replied.

"And how would you 'screw' up our friendship?" Chloe inquired.

"If I told you the whole truth, that's how." Clark paused for a moment. "Um…now that you know about my super speed, does that give me permission to speed out of here whenever I want? Without warning?" He looked at her pleadingly.

Chloe looked at his eyes, and saw something there that she had never seen before. What was it? Apprehension? She wasn't certain. "Uh…sure."

And before Chloe could blink, Clark super sped out of the room.

_Maybe I shouldn't have told him that I knew, he seems a little upset about it…,_ Chloe thought. _But now that I know, why is he still acting secretive? Everything's okay now, isn't it?_

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait, you're telling me that Chloe _knows?_" Jonathan asked his son after Clark had told him what had happened.

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that she knows a little… Not everything."

"You don't plan on telling her everything, do you?"

"I haven't decided yet," Clark answered.

Jonathan looked like he was deep in thought as he pondered the situation.

"Dad, I'm really sorry that she saw me use my powers…but I thought that Alicia was in danger."

"That girl was nothing but trouble," Jonathan said.

Clark fought to keep his face emotionless. _Thanks a lot,_ he thought sullenly.

"If you do decide to tell Chloe, be sure that you made the right choice. I don't want you doing something you'll regret," Jonathan went on. "And be sure that she's ready to keep the secret."

Clark sighed in exasperation. _On with the secret-telling lecture…_

"And if you tell her, tell her that she is never to use red kryptonite on you…"

Clark drowned out Jonathan's voice, having heard almost the exact same lecture before. He knew his father only wanted to protect him, but he already knew the rules. If he was listening to his dad at that moment, he could probably be able to finish Jonathan's every sentence. He flicked a piece of dirt off the table as he waited for his dad to finish.

"Is that clear, Clark?" Jonathan finally asked.

"Yeah," Clark answered.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow, suspecting that Clark hadn't been listening. "What was the last thing I said?"

"Essentially, you want me to be absolutely positively sure that I want to tell Chloe. And that you want me to be really careful…," Clark replied in a slightly preoccupied voice. "Don't worry, Dad."

Jonathan nodded. "Okay. But just make sure—"

"Dad. I _know_. I'll be careful," Clark responded.

* * *

The next day at school, Clark was just walking down the hallway when he saw something.

He stopped and looked at it. It was a small place that had a few pictures of Alicia on the wall, along with a few other things. Clark suspected that the principal had made a student make this tribute. They did it with all of the students that had died.

He decided that he should put a picture of Alicia next to the other ones, because the ones that were there didn't show her looking very happy. He went back to his locker and got the picture of himself and Alicia, and then went back and taped it next to the other pictures.

_That's a little better,_ he thought as he walked away. _Wonder which lucky student had to make that set up,_ he wondered idly. _It should have been me. I would have made it perfect._

"Hey, Clark!" Chloe called out behind him.

"Hi, Chloe. What's up?"

"Nothing… I'm just really curious about—"

"—Me?" Clark asked, leading Chloe into the Torch office and shutting the door. "Chloe, if I'm going to tell you everything, you have to understand how dangerous keeping this secret is…"

"Why is it so dangerous?"

"You'll understand in a second. Just promise me that you'll never tell anyone."

"Okay…," Chloe said, sitting down in a chair and tucking a lock of blond hair behind one ear.

Clark took a deep breath. "Don't say anything until I'm done, okay?" _And please don't hate me…_

"Okay," Chloe said again, although she felt uneasy.

Clark then sat down and tapped his fingers on the desk nervously. _How to say this… how to tell her that I'm an alien… She'll probably think I'm crazy._

He took another deep breath. "Okay… so I guess I should start back at the meteor shower…"

* * *

"And that's… about it…," Clark said after he had told Chloe everything, after he had exclaimed everything.

Chloe gaped. The only thought that was in her head at the moment was _Oh. My. God._

Clark stopped all movement and looked at Chloe, waiting for her to say something.

But Chloe didn't know what to say.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Chloe said, "I can't believe it…" _Everything makes sense now… I can't believe it… and I was… I just…_

Clark looked at her. "Are you…alright…?"

Chloe put a hand on her forehead. "Ah… Umm… Clark… I think I need to think about this. It's kind of like an information overload…" She tried to smile at him, tried to give him hope, but failed miserably.

Clark nodded slightly, getting up and leaving.

At his next class, he couldn't keep his mind off of Chloe. He felt extremely nervous and tense. He could barely pay attention to the test in front of him, and when he was done with it, he felt that he hadn't done his best. But at the moment, he didn't care.

When he went back to the Torch office, Chloe was nowhere in sight.

_I hope she's okay… I hope… I…_ The rest of Clark's thoughts were very uneasy and jumbled.

* * *

Clark came home to see his mother in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes.

"Hey, Mom, can you do something for me?" he asked.

"Sure," his mother replied, not turning around.

"Can you make me some peanut butter-chip cookies?" he asked with a small smile.

Martha stopped scrubbing abruptly, sensing that something was wrong. "Clark, honey, is something wrong?"

Clark sighed and shifted uncomfortably, and he suddenly finding the floor interesting. "Well, you know… I told Chloe today."

Martha turned to look at him, concern showing on her face.

"I don't know, Mom… I mean… she just told me that she needed to think about it. And she just seemed really… I don't know… I just… I…," he stammered.

"It's okay," Martha soothed. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"But what if it isn't? What if she doesn't accept me, and she realizes that I'm really a freak…?"

"She won't think you're a freak because it isn't true."

Clark shook his head slightly. "I'm going to my loft. Be down later, okay?" And he left.

* * *

"Hello? Mr. Sullivan? It's Clark Kent. I didn't see Chloe at school today and was wondering if everything was okay," Clark said into the phone the next day.

"Oh, yes. Chloe is sick, and that is why she wasn't at school today," Mr. Sullivan replied.

"Well, tell her I said hi and that I hope she gets well soon…"

"Sure thing."

After Clark had hung up, his mother called him to dinner. He sat down at the table and took a bite of his dinner. _Why do I have a feeling that Chloe's 'sickness' is some weird excuse so she can avoid me? _

Clark took another bite of his dinner nervously, sensing his parents staring at him.

He pretended not to notice. _Maybe Chloe will be at school tomorrow… I just hope she is taking this well… I mean, she deals with strange things all the time…it's just that this is a step up._

"Your mother told me that you told Chloe…," Jonathan said. "She won't tell anyone else, right?"

Clark gave a huge sigh. "To be completely honest, Dad, I'm not sure."

"Well, you better make sure she won't," Jonathan replied, though not harshly.

"I don't think she wants to see the alien-boy freak show right now…"

"Clark!" Martha exclaimed, not wanting her son to refer to himself like that.

"Sorry, Mom," Clark apologized. "But I think she needs time to digest it all. I mean, she just learned that her friend was from another planet. I can try and talk to her tomorrow…if she's better that is. She was sick today." He sighed.

* * *

"Hi, Mrs. Kent. Um…do you know where Clark is?" Chloe asked the next afternoon.

"He said that he wanted to take a rest. You'll find him in his room," Martha replied with a smile.

"Thanks," Chloe said, going up the stairs. She approached Clark's bedroom door and knocked on the door. But there was no answer.

After a minute or two, Chloe knocked again. When she once again received no answer, she opened the door.

Clark was asleep on his bed. _He must be having a nightmare,_ Chloe thought, observing Clark's tossing and turning, and then turning her attention to a pillow that looked like it was literally torn apart on the floor.

Clark suddenly stopped his tossing and turning, and pulled the blankets tightly around himself.

Chloe cautiously made her way around the side of Clark's bed to see if he was awake.

Clark's face looked deeply troubled, and his eyes were still closed.

"Clark?" Chloe asked in a soft voice.

Clark didn't move, so Chloe assumed he was still asleep, and still having a nightmare judging by the look on his face.

_Should I wake him up or should I just leave?_ Chloe asked herself. She placed a hand gently on one of Clark's shoulders. She shook him ever so slightly, and Clark almost jumped out of his bed.

His eyes darted around the room and finally saw Chloe. "Hi," he said, sounding anxious.

"Hi, Clark… Your mom told me you were up here… So here I am," Chloe said. She shifted nervously as Clark sat up.

"You know, I'm sorry for running out on you the other day…," Chloe started.

"That's okay, Chloe. I know it must have seemed as if I had dropped a bomb on your lap."

"Yeah, kind of… But really, Clark, I'm okay with it," Chloe replied, smiling ever so slightly.

"Are you really?"

"I've dealt with weird things before."

"I know. With the kryptonite infected people. It's my fault that they got those powers you know," Clark said.

"It isn't your fault that it happened…" Chloe's voice trailed off. "Oh… Every time you looked at the Wall of Weird, you thought that all of those things were your fault, didn't you? And the Wall is so massive… And I just kept putting more things on there."

Clark looked down.

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault, Chloe. You didn't know, and I don't blame you," Clark replied.

"Well, tomorrow I'll take it all down, okay?"

Clark shook his head. "No."

"But—"

"The Wall is staying," Clark cut her off. And before she could protest again, he stood up and stretched. "Well, since you're here, do you want to stay for dinner? I'm sure Mom and Dad won't mind."

Right before the Kents and Chloe sat down for dinner, Clark whispered to Chloe, "Be careful…and prepared. My parents are probably going to give you this long lecture about how important it is to keep my secret…"

And when everyone sat down and began dinner, it was Jonathan Kent who brought the subject up. And then he started his long "secret-telling" lecture, Martha joining in at the appropriate times.

Chloe listened intently, thinking, _This isn't so bad. Guess Clark has heard it many more times than I have though, and that's why he's probably bored out of his mind right now._

When Mr. and Mrs. Kent were done, Chloe said, "I understand. I'll be very careful."

Jonathan then smiled. "Good. I'm glad that's settled."

Chloe turned to Clark and smiled at him, and, for the first time in several days, Clark smiled back.

* * *

There you have it. Review if you wish (Nice ones? please?) and uhhh... i hope you liked it?

(PS: I DO have two other Smallville fan fictions in the works... neither of them are done (but both are at LEAST three times as long as THIS one.) and i dont know if i'll post them here, but i'm thinking i'll figure it out according to the reviews i get for this one... So stay tuned, lol

PSS - did you guys SEE the season finale! awesome, huh... (When my brother saw Lana's tatoo disappear, he said "CRAP, that tatoo was sexy!")


End file.
